Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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