he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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