Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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