I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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