So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize