U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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