So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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