LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize