how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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