this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
