How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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