So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
