So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?