Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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