i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...