some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went