I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are