Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor