I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize