The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my being single is dangerous.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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