Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
