My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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