Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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