How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
