I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize