No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.