dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."