I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
