guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
