genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
