i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
