and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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