Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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