Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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