i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize