I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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