Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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