i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
