Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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