You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize