i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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