I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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