So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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