dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize