Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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