I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
