I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize