and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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