Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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