can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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