I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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