That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
