My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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