Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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